What does the Goddess Starfish & Ben Johnson have in common?

For the previous episode click here

For the previous episode click here.

Ben Johnson (100 m Olympic gold & world record holder  & the Goddess Sheila Gibbons [Starfish] have something in common?

Steroids, of course, is not the right answer.

The correct answer is: They both want to win gold and, at this stage, both are willing to take the (sporting world’s) , most effective drug available, steroids.  Yikes, I need to update ‘The plane Journey’ to include them. 

I’m a bit tired so Dyslexia will be everywhere.

What do steroids do?

Steroids (short for corticosteroids) are synthetic drugs that closely resemble cortisol, a hormone that your body produces naturally. Steroids work by decreasing inflammation and reducing the activity of the immune system. They are used to treat a variety of inflammatory diseases and conditions.

[Not sure, top of google search]

It worked for Ben Johnson  and its working for Starfish now.  However, I’m her drug dealer and have to get the bloody things in her mouth without having my fingers bitten off.

We had some truly magical moments a couple of hours ago. Om my goddess.

Anyone that knows Starfish [it feels good to use it, don’t know why] will know her cheeky side. It was on full show today.

Heaters stopped working and Lambo is not answering his phone.  He was due to fly with the goddess to LA two days ago, for one grand final Luxy Tours and sail home on Cunards Queen Victoria, with his Goddess.  Hardly blame him for downing tools, can we?

Sadly, flights cancelled, time with a very dear friend of mine, Steve Green, from Grover Beach, CA.  We have shared a lot of shit together. Om Steve, next time. A whirlwind tour of names and places Sheila was going and nothing was stopping her. Lambo was happy, he didn’t have to drive 5,000 in six weeks again, we were doing it all by train. Sheila had timetables everywhere.  I have a map of the USA next to me with large red dots where sheila was going. Let me go have a look. Ok, the big dots don’t help:

1.       LA


2.       Grover Beach CA


3.       San Jose CA


4.       Nasa Idaho


5.       Monteal


6.       New York


7.       Dot in way. Just up from Panama City.  Alabama? She wanted to see her ex husband of 21       years Karl Gibbons.


8.       Fort Lauderdale


9.       Sail to Southampton on board Queen Victoria.

Sheila does nothing by halves. I’ve got to stop cos I am crying with laughter.  She had also planned her death meticulously. That's or later.

I also need to read again from start cos I have lost where I was.

Yes, Steroids. Good stuff, never taken it in my life.  Sad to see lots of first XV lads in the private school system pumped  up like Mary Peter’s [Won Olympic gold when steroids were legal and just the latest craze in the gym’s]. No testing in schools, yet. He ho Another war lost.

Right, back to today and Sheilas cheeky side.

Room cooler, Starfish has both legs over end of bed, freezing. I try and move then, waste of time. I say to her, ‘I’m going upstairs to get a pair of woolly socks and off I go. Back and ready, no legs hanging out of bed, way up the duvet. She really could do with being higher up but no way  on my own unless back from a wee.

I gently bring he legs back down, let go to pick up the socks and… up they go again. Three times so I change tactics.  I bring one leg down, it goes back, same leg again, but don’t let go. I have her. I used two hand to get the sock over her toe. Off they went, up the bed.

I give her a talking to.  Please darling, I know this is great fun and you are making me cry but I really do need to get this sock on. She complied, cheeky bugger.

The next bit was just mind-blowing:

Having realised her cheekiness, I also realised she could hear everything I was saying.  Lets see.

Wee, cup of tea for me and:

Darling I think you can hear everything I say. No response.

I hold her hand and say. I need to test not only that you can hear me but, your not as wasted as folk may think.

Sheila if you know what a Starfish is squeeze my hand. Squeezed. Magic, it works..

Ok lovely, ‘If the answer is no, no squeeze. If the yes, squeeze.

Do Starfish live in Mountains. No squeeze.

Do Starfish live in the sea. Squeeze. At this point my tears, as they are now, were in full flow.

I then read to Sheila my Screaming Starfish with teeth blog. Stop and start cos at one point I was bumbling cos of the tears.

She moved her spare arm and held my hand. Oh fuck...

This girl will go when she is ready as Olympic Gold is where she is going.

However, having got her attention. I had another small matter to discuss with her.

Cunard Queen Victoria, leaving Fort Lauderdale on 17^th March, paid in full, with Club class tickets, as you do.when totally stoned.  I did tell Starfish, her new name, not to book anything, don’t even go near your computer,  after taking almost a 1gm of  30% proof, medical grade THC.

She only went and booked us a passage on the Queen Mary from Southampton to New York with club class back, paid in full… A month later than she meant to!  Stoned or what!. I still can't stop giggling. I must tell you about her first Spanish evening class in Yeovil , she went to, after her interpretation of a rice grain looked more like a hazelnut. She did it when I wasn't looking.  Its so funny. Later.

After some effort, the cruise was  changed, the grand finally, Queen Victoria, a proper ship, not a floating hotel, to take us home. Starfish and I; spa all day then dressing up, dinners and the rest

However, we did have a contingency plan, discussed a few weeks ago. But, I needed to check it was still her wish. ‘Darling Starfish, do you remember us talking about me about taking Tony on the cruise if you can’t make it. Squeeze.

‘I called Cunard and if I got a refund, I would not even have enough to take Tony for a weekend in Malta or Cyprus’. No response.

Darling is it still your wish I take Tony to Fort Lauderdale and sail back with him on the Queen Victoria. Squeeze. In addition, four steroids, blueberries and a cup of tea, fruit loose leaf.  She bought it six weeks ago.

Umm, she is planning to go well before then? As another of my brother-in-laws once said; 'Sheila is always right'.

Next job, sent Tony a message. 

Starfish is still in charge. Om my goddess.

For my next blog click here.