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Showing posts from February, 2020

Sheila Gibbons & Dreamboards

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For my previous blog click here. Lambo's Folk Tales, Sherborne Times April 2018.  Om, Sherborne Times &   Katharine Davies, the photographer. She lent me £20 on Thursday, yes that day! I drove into town and forgot my wallet. Sheilas, and my, Dreamboards have featured a lot in my recent posts. Here is some background. Justin James, Salon Fish, Sherborne. A dreamboard is a collage of words and pictures representing your goals and dreams for the year ahead. Sheila and I used old magazines (Sherborne Times even!), a poster-sized sheet of paper, some glue and scissors. My 2018 dreamboard shows me as fit, with a dashing new hairstyle. The fitness bit is work in progress – I’ve re-joined the Boys School gym. Next, I had to find the perfect hairdresser to redesign my hair and newly acquired beard. Ideally, he would have trained with Vidal Sassoon in Mayfair, cut celebs hair backstage, done photo shoots in LA, be trendy, fashionable, stylish, be based in Sherborne a

Sheila's bedroom & Artwork. Plus a bit from Lambo.

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Gran Canaria  March 2019 Its been a quiet day so far.  Having been nocturnal for the past four weeks, my sleep patterns still need to adjust.  Surfaced at 1230, a very long bath and then back to work. Preparing  the goddess bedroom for my dad.  However, I just couldn't resist sharing some her magical artwork with you. Enjoy. Sheilas Artwork and Lambo's words. And for my next blog click here.

Thank you all so much. Om

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For the previous episode click here. My very own alter to my Goddess. Om Goddess I just can't thank you all enough. I have made a start though. Om Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death studies, and author of the internationally best-selling book, On Death and Dying, where she first discussed her theory of the five stages of grief, also known as the "Kübler-Ross model". [Wikipedia] The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. I am also aware I need to go through all the stages.  Om Elisabeth.  I've also told Lambo to be very careful in the anger stage. He gets it, oh yes, he gets it, he really does! Om Lambo. Next blog click her

Sheila last race.

For my previous blog click here At last, Elf & Safety [Om Gordon Wood], have given permission for the final to start. Sita, Packhorse Lil, Starfish and most of all the goddess Sheila Gibbons knows her time has come. Ram Ram Sita, echoing all around.  Lambo is the most nervous I have ever seen him.  He also knows, hopes, she will get the perfect start. Lambo knows it will be tough: Usain Bolt (Jamaica) – Fastest Time: 9.58 seconds. ... Tyson Gay (United States) – Fastest Time: 9.69 seconds. ... Asafa Powell (Jamaica) – Fastest Time: 9.72 seconds. ... Maurice Greene (United States) – Fastest Time: 9.79 seconds. ... Donovan Bailey (Canada) – Fastest Time: 9.84 seconds. ... Linford Christie (PB 9.87) - Nine times under 10 seconds. James Dasaolu (PB 9.91) - Twice run under 10 seconds. They are all here today. The final starts at 1200 precisely. The roar of the crowd is thunderous as the finalists are introduced: Lane 1. Hussain Bolt . His last ever race before retirement

TED Talks. Never underestimate a lone lunatic from Featherstone

For my previous blog click here. And soon my time will be limited on here. Here is a message to my 'other' family. For earlier click here. In divorcing me they said,'I had done such unspeakable things, they couldn't even share them'.  Imagine for one second the impact that had on my mum and dad. What were these dreadful? I haven't got the faintest idea, nor as anyone else! That was six years ago, I am still waiting to know what one, yes just one, of those dreadful things, just might be? They haven't got a fucking clue! Now, today, 0200, Thursday 27th February 2020, my my parents, are shunned by my children, with almost no access to their great Grandchildren. My dad is bloody 90, my mum is 88. Please get real! The corporate line is, I am a drunken wasted loner, to be avoided at all costs. And the point I am making is: Beware of drunken wasted loners, they may just start a revolution. 'Tipping point' lovely phrase. Om TED k

The Cowboy who got Married. Om Chris

For my previous blog click here. Om Chris. The Cowboys marriage was such a wonderful day. He placed his beautiful wife on their new carriage, went forward, hugged his pride and joy, Sirch, the wonder horse, adventures together and the rest.  He was a real Stallion. He whispered in his ear, 'Its only one mile to the hotel and reception, please don't fuck up'. Off they went, after a few steps, Sirch hit a pothole, stumbled a reared into the air. The Cowboys poor bride, dumped firmly on the ground. He lifted her back into the the carriage, dusted her down and checked all fine.  He walks up to Sirch, hives him a big hug, and says. Sirch please be careful, only half a mile to go'.  He then whispers in his ear,' Sirch, that one'. Of they go but, a flash of lightning races across the sky, Sirch is shocked he reared into the air. The Cowboys poor bride, dumped firmly on the ground. He lifted her back into the the carriage, dusted her down and checked all fin

The Little Ship Club

For my previous blog click here. The Little Ship Club is a yacht club in London. It was founded in 1926 by a group of yachtsmen for the purpose of providing training and lectures over the winter months. The club operates from its riverside clubhouse at Bell Wharf on the River Thames, and is the only one operating from within the City of London.[1] The Little Ship Club shares its current space with the City Livery Club since 2010[2]. Joint dinners and other events are sponsored on occasion to promote interest and friendship between the two Club tenants at the Bell Wharf Lane location. [Wiki} Now Lambo lived in Liverpool Road, Islington N7 and would often, after work, sit in t pub reading Evening Standard. Lambo, dipstick, never even been on a boat (except Yorkshire Belle) in his life, only goes and buys a 23ft plastic boat on the river Ouze. Throws wife and kids and back every weekend near Ware in Hertfordshire. September and Lambo in pub. 'Special deal for all sailo

Winning Post - Pub & Grill

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And whilst I am throwing shit at every one else; her's some I want to throw at Lambo, raw meat, pure fucking Viking arrives to play for Harlequins. Dipstick or what.  Vikings are Vikings and Lambo only wanted four things things every Saturday: 1. Score two tries on the national stadium.  He still holds the record for most tries scored in one first class game. Eight, yes 8. 2. Chicken Dansack.  He was addicted even then. he still (vedge dansack for last ten years) is, ask anyone who knows him. 3. Fall gently to sleep singing lulabyes? Get real, Men need sex. 4. Name in headlines in the Sunday papers. And before we go any further Lambo is still and egotistical dipstick, for being able to produce the above as ten seconds 10 seconds flat. His best time was 10.7. Some weeks however, he played like crap, didn't get... the rest and by Sunday he was feeling a bit restless, so what does he do: 1. He gets in his fancy TR6 sport-care, he also had a Harlequin (Light blue, ch

Sherborne Boys School Gym

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For my previous blog click here. This is my church This is where I heal my hurts It's in natural grace Or watching young life shape It's in minor keys Solutions and remedies Enemies becoming friends When bitterness ends This is my church This is where I heal my hurts For tonight God is a DJ [Faithless] It's playing in my ears, right now. The final is delayed so, what better place to go and prepare for the final. Iv'e been looking at this for eight years.  I must tell Starfish. And oh boy will we take our chances. Lambo just love his Church And Lambo's ego just couldn't resits telling you he would still hold every 100m and 200m records had he gone to Sherborne.  He also said not bad for a 66 year old. And last but not least, a massive thank you to Garry Shackle, manager of the gym, for joining the fun and taking the video: Enjoy. Lambo in the gym Ps Extra. My pulse was running a steady 140-145 just before

Starfish Olympic 100m final update. The bloody pachage is from sponsors!

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For the previous episode click here. Another of my favourites. A shiny new set of kit with fucking sponsors emblazoned everywhere..  I suppose it is the single most watched 10 seconds on the planet. He ho. This girl does my hear in! As I said yesterday; On my mothers dying...' what happens next is true. Got her off commode and into bed. Dead to the world. I move her up and across the bed.  Like a baby she sleeps. Phew. Bit of the Lamb Stew I have on, 1;  24/7 Friend in need Need a wee (recon 30 minutes say 40 max since left) so pop my hear around the door. Fuck, bed empty. Sheila Gibbons sat meditating on the floor. I sob, cradle and caress.  I put my arm across her front, she only fucking bites my arm, really hard. Umm, I guess she had been there a while.. After loads more sobbing and stuff I still had the problem of what to do with her. I somehow get her sitting in the commode.  I then say, 'I am going to put my finger in your mouth.  If you are still cro

Starfish 100m Olympic Final update. A mystery package has arrived?

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For the previous episode click here. For the previous episode click here . Firstly, Starfish, the goddess Sheila Gibbons, is going nowhere just yet.  Sheilas bedroom has her own painting covering the walls.  This is my favourite. Sat on commode earlier, Tea, fruit tea, blueberries, fresh mango and six steroids.  She stayed a while, eyes open looking at her paintings. Lambo and her are practising starts and doing mindfulness exercises. However, a mystery package has arrived and sits, unopened, on the kitchen table. India on the customs declaration. Now, Sheila did live and work in India for five years. Yoga Ashram no less.  Two weeks ago over 300 folk were chanting her spiritual name and chanting for her at morning Satsang.  The name escapes me, but its the one you are given (a bit like a sanyassin [no idea hoe to spell it] a spiritual name.  Beutifull thing to do. Om to India. Anyway the final is at 1600 tomorrow and as far as Sheila is concerned its game on. L

My views on Religion

For the previous episode click here. I do find myself looking skywards and saying 'thank you God' an awful lot a at the moment.  So here I go: Not only do I believe in God, I am also aware of his very presence in my home. He is sitting right above me, right now. I also believe Jesus was the son of God, no issue. However, I also believe that you (yes, you, the one reading this) is the son (or daughter) of God. I believe that makes us all children of God.  I also believe that collectively we are God. I also believe he is the Grand Oral Desemonato r and also a DJ. In a nutshell, my religious views. For my next post click here.

Om to:- Terry Hudson - Charlie Stone RIP - Keith Bridges. All Lads from Featherstone.

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Rugby League Cup Final 1983 Terry Hudson played scrum-half, was the captain, and received a 10-minute sin-bin in Featherstone Rovers' 14-12 victory over Hull F.C. in the 1983 Challenge Cup Final during the 1982–83 season at Wembley Stadium, London on Saturday 7 May 1983, in front of a crowd of 84,969. Never under-estimate Lads from Featherstone. Here is one of the finest examples ever.  Cup final 1983 against, Champions Hull., money and the rest.  Two things everyone missed: 1. They were playing against Lads from Featherstone and; 2. We had two of our lads in enemy camp. Keith Bridges and Charlie Stone. Daily Telegraph, Times and the rest saying 'waste of time a white wash' Oh dear they forgot what lads from Featherstone do.. We win against all odds. Here are some of the lads: First Terry Hudson, holding the cup.-Tex (I used to give him matches at Gordon Street Secondary Modern - he was 'cock' of the school-to stop him beating me up. he had a tattoo on

Lambo, Starfish Sheila Gibbons, coach and drug dealer update.

For the previous episode click here. Mindfulness is the psychological process of purposely bringing one's attention to experiences occurring in the present moment without judgment, which one develops through the practice of meditation and through other training. [Wikipedia] Lambo is in the final of the AAA [Amateur Athletic Association] 100 meters. Fact it’s Under 15’s makes no difference.  He is also seriously into mindfulness. For what happened in the semi-final click here. So, Colin Lambert (Unattached), our very own Lad from Featherstone needs to prepare.  It goes like this. 1. Eight of you are being ‘held’ at the side of the main stand.  Shortly you will be led into the stadium, to the thunderous (LOL. The stand was quite full) roar of the crowd. 2. Duffle bag empty except for a bottle of Lucozade but needed to put baggy tracksuit in very soon. 3. You stand in your lane, taking deep breaths. Lane 5 so a good view of most. 4. Baggy tracksuit off. 5. Two practi

Lawyers & Barristers

For earlier, click here. A bit more background fist. Dilys [my ex sister-in-law] works (ed) in the Law Courts, Old Baily and the rest. Chattypoos with the best in the world. So when she bankrolled my ex-wifes divorce, the 'best', she was told. Kingsley Napley, lawers to Royalty, but they are daft expensive. Appointed.. Best Partner to 'scew' me Michael Rowland. He once sent me an email saying, sort of, Mr Lambert your tantrums are like water of a ducks back.  My reply, sort of, Its time me ex wife employed a lawyer and not a bloody Duck, quack, quack. Court time, the final battle.  Bungalow, our Lad from Featherstone, baggy tracksuite and a duffle bag comes face to face with their Barrister, the best, the finest in the land. And, seriously daft expensive.  Sadly he hadn't met our Lad Featherstone. Can't share much but her is a bit of an email I sent them last week; And while I am ranting.  Don't ever send an egotistical dipstick Barrister, the nex

Lies, dam lies and my daughter-in-law Ane Evelly

For earlier click here. First it should be Dr Ana Evelly.   PhD, no less, Aberdeen University, no less. Ana is bright and extremely clever.  She gives lectures in front oh hundreds. She also helped me compile the first blog in my Plane Journey series.  In it I say; 3 Sainsbury Max Strength Congestion Relief (Phenylephrine)   Speaking of university students, this is the breakfast pill for the academic world.  Banned in Athletics, [not a drug for Lambo] it’s easy to see why, as a shot of almost pure adrenalin kick starts the day giving you that confidence and zest to present your latest thesis. I have been to my local Sainsbury three times to try and find a packet, the first two visits they were sold out. News from the underworld says it’s being experimented with to make Crystal Meth. .  Breaking Bad eat your heart out. You? Thank you Ana for a glimpe of your academic world.  Ana also tells fibs and it goes like this. Two days earlier, bathing my grandchildren and

They think its all over. Its is now and Lambo is devastated.

For the previous post click here. Its over, my life had has ended. One single place from glory. Starfish, the goddess Sheila Gibbons, came fifth in her semi-final.  She is out, its all over. She was even the third fastest looser so missed the final by just one place. She had a really crap start, her left foot seemed to slip as she pushed out of her blocks.  I could see the pain in her eyes. At 40 meters she was last, by a mile. And then, Packhorse Lill (my pet name for Sheila) came to life. It was back, that true dogged determination you all know Sheila for. Fists clenched, arms pumping, and Sheila was flying. It really was a matter of life or death. Seventh by 70 meters, sixth by 90 and fifth as she crossed the line.  Another ten meters and who knows? She really had given her all, on crossing the line she collapsed and taken away on a stretcher. Two district and me managed to rest her in the electric, hospice, bed where she lay still.  She new it was all over. Lambo i

Hearsay Evidence

For my previous blog click here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearsay It says; Inter Alia, that 'Hearsay Evidence' cannot be used in court. Until it becomes evidence, it is just tittle tattle, gosip and the rest. Gosit that can spread, it is neverthless just gosip.  Newspaper make a living out of spreading gossip. Have some gossip about my ex sister-in law, Dilys Tauz: This property first came to my attention in July 2007 as it formed part of Mrs Celia Norman’s overall property portfolio.   I then worked with Mrs Norman, introduced her to Francis Clark Accountants, and between us we worked with her own accounts (?) to put in place inheritance tax planning. As part of that planning £500,000 was put into St James Place as a discounted gift trust,   making the total in that trust £1 million.     They beneficiaries were Kerry and Dilys. The next item to be moved from the estate was 99 Kensington Church Street which was gifted to Kerry and Dilys. 99 Kensing

Lambo. Sheilas Gibbons coach and drug dealer.

For the previous blog click here. Firstly, I need to thank my dad, Clifford Lambert, captain of Featherstone Rovers, no less. He drove me 1,000’s of miles to athletics competitions all over England.  He never forced me to train, never put me under pressure to compete.  All he gave me was love. Om Dad x Secondly, Lambo has never taken Steroids in his life. Here is a lovely example, the one that started his athletics career. Lambo has just turned fifteen. He was never into cricket, so over the summer he would find local athletics competitions to take part in. He was so tired of winning toasters and kettles; he would look at the prizes and then decide whether to come first second or third. You will all know Lambo can be a bit daft!  He used to look at magazine , Athletics Weekly to find events. He only went and applied to take part in the AAA (Amateur Athletics Association) National Championships at Crystal Palace London, as you do when called Lambo.  They contacted him and said

Lambo meets John Haynes. The Haynes Manual

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For my previous blog click here. John Haynes, who has died aged 80, created a publishing empire out of the enormous success of the car workshop manuals that bore his name. In all, 200m have been sold since 1966, covering the maintenance and repair of more than 1,000 different models. His formula was simple: dismantle and rebuild a car, illustrate with clear black and white pictures and diagrams, then describe the process in detail, in a language that the lay person can understand. With the familiar yellow and red logo, impressive cut-away drawings, fault diagnosis and step-by-step approach to every possible task – be it changing a bulb or dismantling and rebuilding a complete engine – the Haynes manuals captured the DIY ethos of the 1960s, 70s and 80s: a more self-reliant time, when maintaining the family saloon was still a bastion of male pride and the vehicles most people drove were simple, logical and analogue. [Gaurdian] John died on 8th February 2019. At the

What does the Goddess Starfish & Ben Johnson have in common?

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For the previous episode click here For the previous episode click here. Ben Johnson (100 m Olympic gold & world record holder   & the Goddess Sheila Gibbons [Starfish] have something in common? Steroids, of course, is not the right answer. The correct answer is: They both want to win gold and, at this stage, both are willing to take the (sporting world’s) , most effective drug available, steroids.  Yikes, I need to update ‘The plane Journey’ to include them.  I’m a bit tired so Dyslexia will be everywhere. What do steroids do? Steroids (short for corticosteroids) are synthetic drugs that closely resemble cortisol, a hormone that your body produces naturally. Steroids work by decreasing inflammation and reducing the activity of the immune system. They are used to treat a variety of inflammatory diseases and conditions. [Not sure, top of google search] It worked for Ben Johnson   and its working for Starfish now.   H owever, I’m her drug dealer and ha

Screaming Starfish with sharp teeth

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For the previous episode click here. Sheila is sleeping soundly after a night of pure magic. She had taken nil by mouth, for 30 hours, not moved even, shallow breathing and no real pulse.  I then realised I hadn't got a clue what to do if.... I joined her in bed around 1730, with the odd break, to sit her or have a wee.  By 2100, I am concerned tonight might be it. I had message her doctor saying, 'daft question but what do I do if...' 'Dial 111, if in the night or call me. Oh and Sheila can't donate her organs, cos she is at home, not in hospital'. Makes sense as the organs need removing PDQ. My midnight Sheila is in her usual Starfish pose, her wonderful flowing hair, everywhere! There is an amazing meditation where (name bugging me and Jenny, who just arrived to give me a break) folk lie in a circle, all looking like starfish.  Yantra? I squeeze myself into bed and sit holding her hand, not really wanting to sleep.  Some horrible dream later,