Friday, 23 March 2018

Rugby Injuries and Cannabis. Part 1

Did you know Holland & Barrett have made record profits on the back of selling good old weed?

CANNABIS oil is now available at high street health shop Holland & Barrett and sales have skyrocketed. The health store has become the first high street store to sell the product...”
By KATRINA TURRILL. Daily Express Thu, Feb 15, 2018

The Daily Mail concurred so it must be true! 

I have a dear old school friend called Slam. I will explain the name shortly, be patient. Many years ago Slam discovered (Amsterdam rugby 7’s) the amazing healing power of cannabis (oil or whatever) in dealing with pain relief resulting from rugby injuries. When touring Canada (Slam was at this point known as ‘The Flying Pig’) with Harlequins RFC the cannabis medicine was shared in the team bus.

Ok, why Slam? Apparently his dad, also known as Slam, bashed into folk on rugby pitch. He was brilliant at it, played at Wembley and captained Featherstone Rovers. So, when his son bashed into folk at school and played at Twickenham (He also played for St Helen's, that's for later) so they also called him Slam.

Anyway 10 years ago, cannabis was still considered a dangerous illegal drug but Slam decided to grow it as an alternative to taking Tramadol (opiate base and addictive) for his various rugby injuries.  Problem was Slam had no garden, but his dad did!

Dad was the 'dogs bollocks' of a gardener. Old Slam and wife lived in Pontefract (home of the famous liquorice cakes) in a bungalow with a small, but discrete, garden even though surrounded by the new 'posh' houses at the back.  Sort of folk who would go to Wentbridge House Hotel for, parties and stuff.

So Slam junior has the bigger job persuading his mum who thinks the police will be round 'cos she has read all about cannabis growing in The Pont & Cas Xpress (she starts collecting cuttings - honest) and she's not sure, but will give it a go. Old Slams grandchildren buy him the books.

Research is needed to find the best combination of CBD (Pain relief) and THC (loads of stuff) for rugby injuries.  Plus one that will grow outdoors Up North with not much light. 

Sensi Seeds Northern Lights is the winner.  Five seeds arrive by Royal Mail three days later.

Part 2 shortly.

Have a good weekend.


Tuesday, 20 March 2018

Saturday, 17 March 2018

Men on Bicycles [MAMIL]

I first got the concept of men on bikes in:

I walked to the Queens Arms, Corton Denham  earlier today to watch rugby, England v Ireland. A big 'all sorts of trophies' game. Ireland win.

Meanwhile Tom, Chris, James & Rinze (all with sore bums - base Chakra  to be precise) enter my gaze:

Please be patient..

Wednesday, 14 March 2018


Best drug I know. £10 for a 2 1/2  hour fix. Buy on the door. It involved driving to Glastonbury town hall on a wet and rainy Monday evening.
My pension kicks in (I’m 65) 0n 29th April 2018.  It’s time to get high!
The drug is slow to kick in. It's hard but I'm told is called 'the second wind' and I have to be patient. Some young lad (and lass) are making me feel old. They fail to see I am ‘A Lad from Featherstone’ as I leap about, dance and dance and dance and start to feel very short of breath and then this pain down my arm! It’s hard, shaking, pain in my left arm worse, into my shoulder; oh dear what have you taken Colin Lambert (Lambo to his friends). A woman, in a frenzy, stares at me.  She is attractive. A young guy dances in front of me. He is also attractive, bouncing off the ground, arms above his head, chanting ‘I’m alive’.
The music’s good, pumping like and making my heart beat in rhythm with the music. I push on, the pain gets worse, I can’t breathe and then.....
I’m floating, I’m flying, I’m as light as a feather, can float, I’m alive.
And here I am 4 hours later still landing from the drug.
MDMA of course:
Magical Dance Magical Awareness
Or a 5 Rhythms workshop.
Good stuff.
Have you tried it?
Lambo has and it’s fab.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Ruby Wax

I'm just reading her new book; How To Be Human, The Manual[ ISB whatever].

Contains some fab lines:

" 'Eat, Pray, Love' would never have made the best seller list [in ancient times] as; Eat, Fuck Kill would have been a bigger hit".

Lets get human after all?


Men need sex

Men in battle.

In Tantra history the men (Boys 16-24) were sent into battle first. Best chance of winning.  However, after saying goodbye to their wife’s and girlfriends they also needed to visit the ‘Spiritual Ones’ the elders of the tribe to receive priming for battle. Simple! They made them orgasm whilst singing ‘bread of heaven, bread of heaven , feed me till I want no more..
They went into battle energised by the elders.
On returning from battle the ‘Men’ had to visit the elders again.  This time to let of steam, to de-compress before returning to their wife’s and girlfriends, the Lion calmed and ready for love.


Monday, 12 March 2018

5 Rhythms

I attended a 5 Rhythms workshop in London over the weekend.  Took Lulu my trusty camper.  Did you know you can park a van in the City (America Square) free from Friday 4pm to Monday 9am?
It involved loads of dancing and for me four teachings;
1. If the body is moved through five distinct types of movement a ‘resonance/vibration/channelling of energy occurs, the last of the five being Stillness.  Not rigid stillness, but a stillness of the mind whist being fully aware of one’s surroundings. Yogi’s do it, Owen Farrell does it before starting his run up and 5 Rhythms got me there.  Osho Dynamic Meditation is similar but different.  More later.
2. Men need sex to the extent they will rape, if need be, in order to burst the boil and ejaculate.  I will explain, please be patient.
3. Be aware of the reaction you will receive if one stands in front of 50 women/men and starts chanting; Men need sex, men need sex, men need sex.
Let’s stay with No 3 for now.
And learn I did…  Someone openly said, ‘Woman need love not sex’.  I responded (openly) saying ‘Men also need love and I truly believe sex and love are not the same’. Others played their part until;
‘This is painful, this is painful’ resonated around the dance studio.
I thought it best not to dig my hole deeper so quietly said to myself;
‘No pain, no gain, that’s what Yin/Yang, masculine/feminine is all about.
Take a live -brown- 240v wire (DO NOT TRY THIS PLEASE) in your right hand and a similar but blue wire in your left.  Our dance studio had the men to the right …
That status quo can exist forever until the holder of the wires gets bored.  ‘What if I touch them a little bit, she (Kali is her name) thinks. BANG, fireworks and the light comes on.  What if the men and women move closer into the middle of the room, BANG, fireworks and potentially babies will be born”.
However I didn’t say that and later..
Both women and men came up to me on the dance floor to whisper ‘How brave to state the truth’ … ‘Wow honesty’… ‘I agree with you’ and more than one lad, under 40, thanked me for my wisdom as an elder.
Home late Sunday and my mind had been tweaked. “Men needing sex Lambo, what’s that all about.
Back in time to my blog of, Sunday 10th May 2015 when my mind was tweaked in a similar fashion:
This is what I wrote:

“The USSR’s role in the defeat of Nazi Germany World War II, 70 years ago is seen as the nation’s most glorious moment.  But there is another story – of massive rapes by the Soviet soldiers of German women in the dying days of the war.... Some readers may find this story disturbing“. (BBC News.– 1 May 2015)
I have never raped, physically abused or violated anyone. I did have two fights as a lad over the same woman. (See my ‘How do Chromosomes make love’ blog) but detest violence of any kind. Even spiders are fine. My one exception is wasps and even then I suggest it leaves before zapping it.
There is a really simple solution to remove abuse of women from the frontline of wars.  I will explain.
The ‘Lads’ on the front lines are our children, young adults at best, pumped with adrenalin, testosterone and endorphins.  These are lads on tour, only difference is; if they don’t win, they die (remember my ‘Thought for Monday Morning’ blog).  So they are literally fighting for their lives.
Rugby is played in a similar fashion.  Dropping the ball, when 4 points behind in the last minute of a cup tie in Newcastle, felt like death.   After six pints of Brown Ale, a curry and a night with a Geordie lass, the following morning my head was only throbbing (from the punch I was given for ‘trying it on’) not detached from my shoulders.
In last week’s blog ‘How Do Chromosomes Make Love’, I made light of this very serious subject, that being the abuse of women in war. In my blog I talk about the Wars of the Roses circa 1450.  Here’s a bit more:
At one point the Lancastrian [House of Lancaster to be correct] King of England, Henry VI, is under ‘house arrest’ in London as the Yorkists have taken control.  Meanwhile his wife Margaret (a feisty French lass) is in Scotland trying to build an army sufficiently strong to move south, attack the Duke of York and free her husband, without whom she is ‘dead meat’!  What could she offer the Scots so their young lads would travel south, eat crap food, use woollen blankets to sleep under and probably get killed in the process?
You guessed it; Rape and Pillage!  However, not until the soldiers had passed Newcastle (they knew what the lasses were like) and in return Berwick-upon-Tweed would be handed to the Scottish Queen as her reward. The English took it back in 1482 and it is now our most northern town.  Maybe we could give it to Nicola Sturgeon in return for her not seeking revenge for our metaphorically ‘raping Scotland’ ever since.  Standing in Murrayfield listening to ‘Flower of Scotland’ makes even me want to be Scottish.  My favourite sailing in the entire world is the West Coast.
Rape as a consequence of war is not a new problem it has been around for a long time.
The Chinese found a solution even before the Wars of the Roses.  They were far more advanced than a bunch of marauding Northerners.
“On 8 March 1421, the largest fleet the world had ever seen set sail from China.  The ships, some nearly five hundred feet long, were under the command of Emperor Zhu Di’s loyal eunuch admirals.  Their orders were to ‘proceed all the way to the end of the earth’.      -  (1421 The year China discovered the World  -  Gavin Menzies)
Loyal what!!
If my balls were chopped off I would happily sail to the end of the world and be pretty loyal doing it.  I would have nothing better to do! This solution gained great favour throughout the world for a few hundred years until they discovered it was fine for servants and gardeners but no good on the front line, no balls, no fight.  We now save it for Cats, Dogs and ‘Game of Thrones’. Phew that was close; I would have been a prime candidate!
My mum and dad had a black Lab, Sammy.  He kept his balls and boy did he use them. One sniff and he was off like the clappers, days on end sometimes. He created many a Hienz 57 pups and ruined the reputation of some highly bred bitches in his time!  Sadly Sammy died on the A1 at Ferrybridge, killed when chasing the scent of a woman.  Same place as thousands of ‘our lads’ died,  at the Battle of Ferrybridge (Wars of the Roses) on 28 March 1461, chasing the same scent.
Modern armies (last 100 years or so) tried to solve the problem with brothels on the front line.  Even terrorists are promised 16 virgins in heaven.  See my blog ‘Fatal Silence’.
Hang on isn’t there a staff shortage, for the brothels in the Middle East at the moment.  The recruitment campaign is even conducted on Facebook and there is public outcry when our girls sign up. 
I now understand how and why the ‘Rape of Berlin’ happened.  Young lads, full of adrenalin, testosterone and endorphins, need a release.  They have their balls. They are ‘dogs on heat’ and no laws or moral principles are going to stop them.
As I said at the beginning; there is really only one simple solution to remove rape as a factor of war.
Don’t send our lads to war in the first place!
Chopping the balls off some political leaders would help speed up the process.
Women ruling the world would also work if they didn't seek revenge first and we could hardly blame them for wanting that, could we?
And the point I am making is:
Make love not war.
Have a good week.

That blog was almost 4 years ago, yet it could have been yesterday and include bishops, CEO's, actors and producers.
So I will state it again;
Men need sex to survive, unless you chop their balls off!
Men also need love, tenderness and support.  In last weeks blog, I talked of the students at Cambridge University, off the lead, away from home and in desperate need of…
Let’s address the cause and not the effect. My 5 Rhythms workshop did just that.
The first step is always the hardest.
Have a good week.

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

A Man Thing

It’s a Man Thing trying to make sense of the world I find myself living.
How am I meant to be as a Man.  Strong, powerful, soft, gentle. PC and the rest. It's very confusing trying to be a man in today’s world.
Any man (and I mean enough to sustain the planet) needs sex.  Without it they die.
Why are the media and politicians trying to destroy our very being. A man on tour needs sex. James Bond is the best example I can give.
Every military battle, ever fought, included sexual satisfaction for the officers.  And troops if they were lucky. Bromide in Tea to suppress sexual arousal.  Please everybody get real! Man needs sex. Please understand these kids working for Oxfam and the rest.  They are kids with needs.
Maslow says it very succinctly: Man needs sex or he dies. Yet men of today get no sex! It's true. What do they do?  Look around any University campus in 2018 and there is your answer.  Oxford & Cambridge even
Men are in a mess and they need help.
Am I imagining this?
Food for thought.