Saturday, 4 April 2020

The Funeral of Sheila Mary Gibbons

Spring 2019

Sheila's funeral is booked for 30th April 2020 at 1200, nine weeks to the second after she left us. . The estimated numbers attending were over 600 including her, 150 strong, choir Shaki Sings.  She sang with them for many years. Their three biggest concerts each year; Glastonbury, Stonehenge both Winter & Summer Solstice, alone had us travelling to Stains, Saturday mornings to rehearse for the day. Lambo went to cafe down road for a full English.  He is however learning to find his voice.

Where was I?

Oh yes Sheila's funeral.  My birthday is 29th April, so her funeral would have started then with a house full of friends and family.  Sherborne Abbey, (0900 on 30th no less) for the Goddess Sita, now Saint Sita of Tamworth her ascension from her body three days after her last breath. After the Abbey, back here and ready for the walk up the hill to Corton Ridge [part of some national trust walk] and to the bank overlooking Glastonbury Tor and the Somerset Levels.  Sheila ran to here to escape that lunatic Lambo when in his Bi-Polar manic phase (I am Bi-Polar & its fine).  She would spend hours sitting on the bank looking out across the world, facing due west.  The sunsets are to die for.  Lambo had a tree, three forks to sit in, in the field below when he ran away from Packhorse Lill when she was in her, 'I'm right and we do it my way mode! She was right 95% of the time, it was the other 5% that did Lambo's head in. I've just told Lambo to look in the mirror!

Where was I?

Oh yes Sheila's funeral. Sheila was cremated three weeks ago. You read in the previous episode why  I did not attend.  I left it to the two sisters, brother plus loads of nephews and nieces, one of whom she gave a £1,000 to as she was getting married in the Summer. I did email Paul, sister Anne's husband and asked 'as a man' to explain why none of them had contacted or visited Sheila in the six months before she died. No reply. Sisters came once to try and fiddle the will, then stopped.  Brother came twice but, only permitted to stay a short while by his wife so never got to have the long conversations she desperately wanted with her brother Tony after being estranged for 30 years. Niece Hannah was given £1,000 so I thought it reasonable to ask her dad why, she had not even said thank you or, would have made Sheila cry,  didn't visit as they all live a one hour drive away. No answer.

Where was I?

Oh yes Sheila's funeral.  On the day of the cremation I walked to Corton ridge and sat with Sheila looking out across the levels, Yeovil cemetery to the left. We talked, laughed and cried loads.  At one point we saw a plume of smoke (we really did) rising to the sky so knew the deed had been done.

As I walked home between the hedgerows, Sheila said, 'look, its an old BT concrete post, my headstone please.'  Headstone now waiting to be drilled and bag of postcrete arrives Monday. Starfish never stops and as I said earlier , she is right 95% of the time!  Those that know her well, are giggling right now.

Where was I?

Oh yes Sita, Pack-horse Lill and Starfish are also having their funeral on 30th April and around thirty of us are walking up the hill to spread her ashes. OH NO WE'RE NOT.

On 30th April Colin, Lambo & Sheila will be walking up the hill to spread [Lambo has hidden half for later] her ashes on Corton Ridge at exactly 1200. We will chant RAM RAM SITA for one minute, play her chosen music and Lambo will give a talk and then play loud dance music (he did in the village this week.  Oops, one neighbour said (sic) 'Given you grow Jack Herer [JH] its best you tun your music down.  Lambo had a ball and played two hours of Essential Mozart even louder.  Ps. Its OK to grow nine JH and Avon & Somerset police endorse it.  It's not OK to ...  That's not for now Lambo.

Where was I?

Oh yes Lambo will dance and we will cry a lot.

However, I invite you all to join me at 1200 for one minute of silence. NO! Sheila has just screamed at me.  One minute of chanting RAM RAM SITA please. It is the chant the universe used to win her last ever race, so very appropriate for spreading her magic dust along the ridge.

I'm struggling typing this as I am blubbering, eyes awash with tears (amazing how salty), at the same time.

Lambo says, 'I've save half the ashes for Sheila's funeral part 2. and your all invited. Could be a while though'.

And if you missed the last weeks of Sheilas life ... Click here for the previous episode.

Saturday, 7 March 2020

Hi everybody Sita’s first Angel here, Angel Joughin-Coppin.

For the previous episode click here.

Angels words No1. Thursday 5th March 2020.

Hi everybody Sita’s first Angel here, Angel Joughin-Coppin.  As you know Lambo & Colin are now in silence. Many of you will know, I was able to set up a Virtual Private Network [VPN] with Sita & Lambo to download messages from his Police-cell.  I have also received a message from Sita, to get my arse down to Little Thatches.
I left Westcliff-on-Sea, Essex, to Sherbourne on Thursday through torrential rain on the A127, M25, M3, however, once on the A303 the rain stated to calm.  I stopped for a pee, and saw that Colin had text me to say; he had stolen all of Sheila’s art-work, and taken to the Old Barn Framing Factory, in Sherbourne to leave with a genius called, Jayson Hutchins.  He is also going to grab a beer, fish and chips for 2, the door is open.
The journey took 5 hours to find the door locked!  I WhatsApp Lambo, walking in the rain, half way up the back lane to get a reception. 20 minutes later, I am greeted with a warm hug, fish, chips & Mushy-peas plus a pack of beer (a got-to-have with fish and chips).  We sat in the sitting room around the fire which Colin had built before he left.  Colin put a key on the sofa saying here is a house key in case you get locked-out again.
Sheila then asked Colin to go into her bedroom she had something to discuss.  15 minutes later Lambo returns walked up to the table picks up the house key, saying you can't have that, but please be patient, get your boots on, were going for a walk.  Torch in hand, off we went, down the lane. I’m given a polite talking to by Colin, who says; “Madam in future could you park in your allocated spot and walks up & down making an invisible line by the Pine Tree.   He opens a gate in the high fencing, leads me inside, asked me to close the gate and lock it.  He charges off up the steps with the torch leaving me hardly able to see.
I have a feeling Lambo is leading me up the Garden Path!
Up the steps and across the decking, and right in front of me is Sheila's Studio, front door in, Brazen Apricot.   Lambo unlocks the door and leads me inside, to the right, I see a half-finished utility room, a boiler and toilet; to the left a passage-way, in which Lambo mutters “First Fix”. Up Sheila's, hand-made, oak stairs.  On my left 400 square feet of studio space, then down a temporary staircase Colin whispers, this is Sheila's Bedroom.  Colin & Lambo both say, here are the keys to Sheila’s Studio.  You now have a Life's-Tenancy on Sheila Studio, rent and services free and if you block my bloody driveway with your car again, I'll belt you around the ear with a wet fish, please park in your allocated parking space which is attached to Sheila's Studio. In addition, Colin continued, there is a further £10,000 to get it completed. On top of that you can occupy Sheila's bedroom to stay in free of charge.
Colin gave me the torch, said please be careful when your leaving and walked off mumbling, “and if you're not bloody out of Sheila's bedroom in 6 months, there will be trouble at mill, AND I’m having my leather chair back”. I sat on the toilet, in disbelief of what I have just heard.  I cried, meditated, then went into the room in Little Thatches where Sheila died and spoke with her; thanking her and sharing with her that, 3-4 years ago, I was told by spirit, that I was to move from my current home.  Often, I would ask, “when”, and was told “wait”.  This year I was told to start preparing, sort out your stuff, it will be soon and quick. I shared this with Sheila, she of course already knew.   Colin & I spoke into the night about many things. Tired I went to bed, only to hear Colin singing his favourite song;

 “Bread of Heaven, Bread of Heaven, fed me till I want know more”.


Angel out. x

And one month later...

Thursday, 5 March 2020

Sheila Gibbons Cremation

For the previous episode click here.

Could have been called, Families imploding Part 3.

Desert Island Discs is a radio programme broadcast on BBC Radio 4. It was first broadcast on the BBC Forces Programme on 29 January 1942. [Wikipedia] And it has run every Sunday (?) since.

Lambo ran his own version for two years, Folk Tales, Sunday morning 1100.

Everyone, one exception John Haynes, spent more time worrying about their 'all time' six songs to take to their desert Island.  Many times I heard, 'these are the songs for my funeral' The hardest bit was telling them six songs only.

One Sunday morning I interview Sheila! She was thirteen minutes 45 seconds late.

Here are Sheila's 'Desert Island Disks'   So ignore Lambo filling time and go to 'She Loves You' the Beatles, Sheilas first disk.  It also tells you all about my goddess. Sheila like many others spent more time making music playlist than telling me about herself.  At this stage we had no idea what was in store some six months later. I now have music for her funeral, music for the reception and music to dance to, into the early hours.  Funny not a single song by Queen!

Another very import request from my goddess.  Made to me and Paul as we assembled her new bed.  Sheila's words not mine, 'save the cardboard, you can make a coffin with it'. Many of you can just imagine her saying that.  Sheila saved everything!!

She has also given me very clear instructions of where her ashes are to be spread.  Corton Ridge runs from the top of our lane all the way to Cadbury Castle, home of King Arthur and his Knights. Its also the location of the Camelot pub, so even better.  Sheila sat on the ridge for many hours (sometimes to escape from that manic idiot Lambo) and I know exactly the spot she wants her ashes spreading.

It came as a surprise, when I received this from Sheilas sister Anne & Hazel.

Wishes & Desires 

Close Facebook
Ashes - Somewhere beautiful 
Home if possible?  Hospice if need
Prompt Chart
Music - Choir (Cornelia Fey ger YouTube music)
I did it my way 
Bring Me Sunshine 
I want to break free 
Under Pressure 
A Kind of Magic 
Classical Music 
The Hunger – David Bowie 
The Sun always shines on TV - Aha
British Airways boarding song / Music
Cardboard Coffin 
H&S Honeymoon
Clothes for Sheila - Floral wedding dress + Jewellery as well 
Spa - do in 2/3 weeks?   Friday after school /overnight 

I resigned yesterday as an executor.  Francis Hill and Daniel Steel are now her remaining executors.

My message to the executors;

When you have finished doing your stuff, please return Sheila's ashes to me, In a recycled cardboard box.  And it is very important we all follow Sheila's wishes so, her ashes to me in a recycled cardboard box please.

Sheila's ashes will then form part, along with all her Artwork,  of a new 'pop up' Temple that, when Lambo puts his property hat on, will be less than two minutes walk from Sherborne Railway Station.  I will be open for all to visit.

Then, when all the virus stuff has settled down, we will have our very own festival to party, dance and all celebrate her life;

Saint Sita of Tamworth 

Sita, Packhorse Lill, Starfish will no doubt attend.  And it will be in Tamworth.

Both Lambo and I are now going into a period of silence.  We will let you all know when we receive her ashes, in a recycled cardboard box.

Our silence has started.


But next this happened.

Wednesday, 4 March 2020

BREAKING NEWS FROM WEYMOUTH POLICE. Mr Lambert you are an innocent man and free to leave.

For the previous episode click here.

My ex wife and two children had me arrested.

Late Monday I said to you all, ''Hi all, Sainthood awaits our arisen Sita, if she pulls this one off! Ram Ram Sita'.

Well she bloody well did pull if off.  Her sweet perfume, 'smell', was by my side throughout.

So without further adoo

Arise Saint Sita of Tamworth, I will worship you for the rest of my days.

Once I've got my head around the funeral and let you know, I will be going into silence.

But first, another of Lambo's little ditties.:

You meet everyone in life twice.
You meet them on your way up the ladder of life.
You meet them again as you descend the ladder of life.
Be very careful how you treat them on your way up.
Because, as shure as eggs are eggs you will meet them on your way down.

And, having lost my beautiful wife, I have the rest of my life to meet folk again so, no rush. Om

And this is what happened next.

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

BREAKING NEWS. Lambo makes contact.

For the previous episode click here.

Angel and Sita have done well.  The VPN [Vitual Private Network] has made contact. Early days but Angel has downloaded to following.

Lambo makes contact. 

It started around 1300, Lambo was in his office out the back fetching a ream of paper to download a Cam-Corder manual. 'Colin is that you' he hears. Um, not a voice he knows but, 'yes I will be with you in a moment and all this fucking paper is damp’.

'Colin Lambert, we are arresting you for harassment and piling all your shit about your 'other family' on your blogger.  Anything you say will be taken down in evidence. [some stuff about staying silent] and could be used against you.  You are being recorded, twice, he taps his hat (looks at his mate - could play prop for Harlequins) and also two audio recording devises, so be very careful what you do or say.

Lambo smiles, looks to the sky and says. 'Sheila lovely, I did say take a week off before weaving your magic'. She ignored me as usual. Om Sita.

Lambo is led into the house, past Sam, making leek (Sita’s own) and watercress (Lambo has a full Hydroponic water cress farm - fuck Lambo’s pulse has just gone to 160 +, for the second time today) soup. There is a saying, 'your never more than six foot from a rat'. Phew..

'Where is your mobile phone and computer as we need to confiscate them'. Clear, small but strong bag. The phone is taken. They do let me, Colin (Lambo can't write remember) turn it off, pull cables out.

'What's that laptop'. 'It's my Microsoft Surface linked straight to plasma screen telly behind that picture'.

'Who's that phone'. 'My fucking wife Sheila who died four days ago'.

'Sorry Sir'.

Lambo puts warmth before beauty by swapping his baggy tracksuit (dipstick did 90 minutes in the gym at 0930 followed by a full English in Station CafĂ©, so well prepared for his day) for jeans.  This meant a PC must follow him. Already pockets emptied and the rest.

Lambo needs his Vape kit. ‘No sir’.

Ready to leave and Lambo really needs a good shit for his day to work from now on. Door open, loo checked for booby traps and Lambo has his best shit, door open PC outside,  in days. He is ready to rock.

Back seat, near side. Prop from Harlequins (Terry Claxton) driving.  PC (he really won't mind, in fact, giggle. if he reads this) Plod sits next to me.

Plod says, 'you can talk if you wish, but my advice would be to stay silent until we get to Weymouth Police Station'.

'Weymouth, why the fuck are we off to Weymouth and not Yeovil'.

‘Sir, cos you do (by 3ft) live in Dorset'

As they turn onto the Bristol Road Lambo says, 'well if we have 60 minutes to go, I will happily talk for 59 of them, which is exactly what Lambo does. He kept muttering 'rehearsal'. First, Lambo is daft thirsty, the bacon, so asks Plod if they could stop at Lidl and pop in for a bottle of water. Plod is shaking his head gently from side to side whilst looking at the sky.  So much so Plod says, 'If I had known... I would have handcuffed you'.

Lambo says, 'let's do it now'. ‘Na, it would create too much new paperwork’ (60% of his job).

By the end, Plod even said, 'change my name but do give me a mention' Nice guy, Om Plod.

Plod has a notebook to write down 'significant' statements. Lambo says, 'I only tell the truth, sometimes expand a bit, but its my truth'. he writes it down and asked Lambo to sign it. Signed.

Have you ever driven off a ferry from Amsterdam or Hook of Holland with a bag of weed (personal use only) and seen those big steel roller shutter doors?  These had 30ft eves. I am asked to leave the car.  They did allow my walking stick (fucked Achilles -and a Blue Badge) so I do have a weapon if needed.

Into giant shed, through the door and shown a 'cubical'.

Lambo says, 'please please may I have some water?'  He waits, told some stuff... Lambo interrupts, 'I really do need some water and a wee cos my dodgy prostate isn't happy'.  Water and wee allowed.

And then..........

The signal was lost.

Sita & Angel know their shit. Om

Will try for another connection tomorrow.

This happened next.

Weymouth Police Station. Shamanic Angel, tuning into Lambo

Angel Joughin-Coppin

Sitas first Angel is on her way.  

I am a natural healer, who also studied Complimentary Holistic Therapies (CHT) since 1997 at colleges in London and Essex, seeking only the most expert tuition in the Holistic & Shamanic field, after completing a Zoology degree, at Imperial, London, learning the Physiology & Anatomy of all life. My aim is to give each client the personal help/healing that they require with my upmost ability in a space where they feel at peace, safe and secure.  My Holistic treatments, induce a state of relaxation as well as an experience of peacefulness.

She is talking to Sita right now to devise a plan. Virtual Private Network seeking signals.

Hang on their Lambo

She makes contact, click to find out.

Monday, 2 March 2020

BREAKING NEWS. Lambo arrested, taken to Weymouth Police Station, in a cell!

For the previous episode click here.

Phone & Computer seized. Lambo managed to get this message out as part of his 'one call' stuff to home.

'Hi all, Sainthood awaits our arisen Sita, if she pulls this one off! Ram Ram Sita'.

What happens next here.