Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Raw Onions Vinegar & Salt

Somewhere between the age of 7 and 12 I used to sneak off with a; Raw Onion, Vinegar and Salt.

Why I did it secretly I have no idea. Mainly my bedroom but in the fields sometimes.

I would peel the onion layer by layer, filling, break the layer in half (best I could) and fill it with malt vinegar and salt. Sip it then eat it. The feeling was like... amazing.

Does anyone have any idea what my body was craving, or more to the point why, did I do it in secret?

Time to restart the journey folks.

Lets say age 7 to 14.

Back soon.


Friday, 23 March 2018

Rugby Injuries and Cannabis. Part 1

Did you know Holland & Barrett have made record profits on the back of selling good old weed?

CANNABIS oil is now available at high street health shop Holland & Barrett and sales have skyrocketed. The health store has become the first high street store to sell the product...”
By KATRINA TURRILL. Daily Express Thu, Feb 15, 2018

The Daily Mail concurred so it must be true! 

I have a dear old school friend called Slam. I will explain the name shortly, be patient. Many years ago Slam discovered (Amsterdam rugby 7’s) the amazing healing power of cannabis (oil or whatever) in dealing with pain relief resulting from rugby injuries. When touring Canada (Slam was at this point known as ‘The Flying Pig’) with Harlequins RFC the cannabis medicine was shared in the team bus.

Ok, why Slam? Apparently his dad, also known as Slam, bashed into folk on rugby pitch. He was brilliant at it, played at Wembley and captained Featherstone Rovers. So, when his son bashed into folk at school and played at Twickenham (He also played for St Helen's, that's for later) so they also called him Slam.

Anyway 10 years ago, cannabis was still considered a dangerous illegal drug but Slam decided to grow it as an alternative to taking Tramadol (opiate base and addictive) for his various rugby injuries.  Problem was Slam had no garden, but his dad did!

Dad was the 'dogs bollocks' of a gardener. Old Slam and wife lived in Pontefract (home of the famous liquorice cakes) in a bungalow with a small, but discrete, garden even though surrounded by the new 'posh' houses at the back.  Sort of folk who would go to Wentbridge House Hotel for, parties and stuff.

So Slam junior has the bigger job persuading his mum who thinks the police will be round 'cos she has read all about cannabis growing in The Pont & Cas Xpress (she starts collecting cuttings - honest) and she's not sure, but will give it a go. Old Slams grandchildren buy him the books.

Research is needed to find the best combination of CBD (Pain relief) and THC (loads of stuff) for rugby injuries.  Plus one that will grow outdoors Up North with not much light. 

Sensi Seeds Northern Lights is the winner.  Five seeds arrive by Royal Mail three days later.

Part 2 shortly.

Have a good weekend.


Tuesday, 20 March 2018

Saturday, 17 March 2018

Men on Bicycles [MAMIL]

I first got the concept of men on bikes in:


I walked to the Queens Arms, Corton Denham  earlier today to watch rugby, England v Ireland. A big 'all sorts of trophies' game. Ireland win.

Meanwhile Tom, Chris, James & Rinze (all with sore bums - base Chakra  to be precise) enter my gaze:

Please be patient..

Wednesday, 14 March 2018


Best drug I know. £10 for a 2 1/2  hour fix. Buy on the door. It involved driving to Glastonbury town hall on a wet and rainy Monday evening.
My pension kicks in (I’m 65) 0n 29th April 2018.  It’s time to get high!
The drug is slow to kick in. It's hard but I'm told is called 'the second wind' and I have to be patient. Some young lad (and lass) are making me feel old. They fail to see I am ‘A Lad from Featherstone’ as I leap about, dance and dance and dance and start to feel very short of breath and then this pain down my arm! It’s hard, shaking, pain in my left arm worse, into my shoulder; oh dear what have you taken Colin Lambert (Lambo to his friends). A woman, in a frenzy, stares at me.  She is attractive. A young guy dances in front of me. He is also attractive, bouncing off the ground, arms above his head, chanting ‘I’m alive’.
The music’s good, pumping like and making my heart beat in rhythm with the music. I push on, the pain gets worse, I can’t breathe and then.....
I’m floating, I’m flying, I’m as light as a feather, can float, I’m alive.
And here I am 4 hours later still landing from the drug.
MDMA of course:
Magical Dance Magical Awareness
Or a 5 Rhythms workshop.
Good stuff.
Have you tried it?
Lambo has and it’s fab.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Ruby Wax

I'm just reading her new book; How To Be Human, The Manual[ ISB whatever].

Contains some fab lines:

" 'Eat, Pray, Love' would never have made the best seller list [in ancient times] as; Eat, Fuck Kill would have been a bigger hit".

Lets get human after all?


Men need sex

Men in battle.

In Tantra history the men (Boys 16-24) were sent into battle first. Best chance of winning.  However, after saying goodbye to their wife’s and girlfriends they also needed to visit the ‘Spiritual Ones’ the elders of the tribe to receive priming for battle. Simple! They made them orgasm whilst singing ‘bread of heaven, bread of heaven , feed me till I want no more..
They went into battle energised by the elders.
On returning from battle the ‘Men’ had to visit the elders again.  This time to let of steam, to de-compress before returning to their wife’s and girlfriends, the Lion calmed and ready for love.