MESSAGE TO MUM 1. PLEASE DON'T DIVORCE DAD - THERE IS NO GAIN & ONLY PAIN
Please Mum do not divorce Dad. There is nothing to gain and only more pain to inflict on your husband of 72 years. You took all the money, as confirmed by your solicitoes, you have a new home to live in, you receive £1,200 every month from dad's pension, your have your own pension, so why put him through this living hell. He fell over three weeks ago, spent two weeks in hospital and now in a respite home until fit enough to go home. He cries himself to sleep most nights. Please stop my brother John from detstoying his father.
‘You couldn’t make it up’, is what I said in the summer when I posted on the Featherstone Rovers Heritage Society Facebook page. My post was removed after objections saying I was lying.
In a nutshell, I said;
My dad was admitted into Scarborough Hospital on 12th March 2022. They were told he was a violent alcoholic instead of shingles and a UTI. He was prescribed Librium instead of antibiotics. It got much worse. A DoLS (deprivation of liberty) order was placed on him and sent to a secure nursing home in Goole. Mum and my brother (s) walked into Barclays Bank, emptied dads account, with mum, of his life’s savings. They sought, and failed, to get an injunction to stop him going home. Mum now lives in Pontefract, has filed for divorce and have resisted any form of contact with dad except for brother Micheal visiting dad then falling out and leaving. You just couldn't make it up!
I have tried begging, pleading, asking family, friends, solicitors but all to no avail. We asked for family mediation, any mediation, just talk to us, all refused. Why, why, why is my brother John trying to destroy his dad on the pretext of saving his mother? Will someone please tell me.
Perhaps sending this to the newspapers, TV, Look North and Calendar might help?
The final hearing is in Wakefield Family Court on 8th January 2024
It all begins on 12th March 2022 so please be
patient. Below are extracts from my notes:
The players:
Betty Lambert (92) – Mum -
Clifford Lambert -Dad (93) & Slam
Colin – me (70) Michael
(66) John (64) siblings. Mandy (RIP 49)
Mum & dad live in Bridlington, nearest hospital Scarborough. Michael lives in West Yorkshire and John Northamptonshire.
At this point I was living in London and three months into my level 3 diploma as a Gym instructor and Personal Trainer course.
Slam Lambert (no bladder, pees into bag on his waist) had
cancer in his 70’s. He’s had a number of UTI’s. They send you loopy, crazy,
dementia on speed. This was the final
straw. Or was it?
1. 12th March 2022. at circa 10
am my brother Michael calls to say Dad in Scarborough hospital.
2. I called and spoke with Dad the
following day; he was having anxiety attacks and was confused. His first words
to me were, ‘help,help,help.’
3. 13th March my mother left me a
voicemail message (available) saying Dad in Hospital & John too upset to visit dad but off to sort wills.
4. I spoke with the duty nurse and asked
if he had been tested for a water infection. She said notes didn’t mention it
but Dementia, delirium, alcohol and aggression were. I asked her to check for a UTI [Urinary Tract
Infection] as his symptoms were similar to when Mum and I took him to hospital
two years earlier. I mentioned his stoma.
5. 14th March Mum and Michael visited
Dad. Mum called me when home and left a message. (saved)
6. 16th March I spoke with a Dr JJ
Cooper (locum) who advised me he would be keeping Dad two more nights as all
blood etc tests clear but sent off to check for an UTI. I said he had suffered
a UTI before. He had also suggested a brain scan to check for dementia.
7. 16th March I called the hospital and asked for Dr
Cooper. I was told he would call me. He called me late afternoon, confirmed Dad
had a UTI, had been put on antibiotics and would not be going home yet. I
forgot to ask about the brain scan.
8. My brother John called me and said
Dad would not be returning home due to his abuse of my mother. He proceeded to
recall scenes from his teenage years at mealtimes with Dad. John was clearly processing stuff and very angry. [Note : John and I were close for many years and I supported him during his divorce. Since my divorce he refuses any meaningful contact]
9. 17th March
John left me a voicemail message.
11. Friday 18th March I called the hospital
but was advised Dr Cooper had left the department. I asked to speak with the
person responsible for Dad. I spoke with the Social Care lead (I didn’t get her
name), who confirmed the following: [A friend listened to the call and took
notes]
a. Your Dad's brain scan showed nothing
acute that couldn't be attributable to age related changes
b. Some atrophy in temporal lobe(s)
c. She said there were no other underlying issues but;
d. She questioned alcohol as an issue –
I asked if a liver function blood test had been carried out.
e. He's medically fit to leave but
cannot go home until the safeguarding (DoLS) issues which have been raised are
fully investigated.
f. Discharge planning has been
undertaken and started 2 days ago and he will be subject to a social team’s
assessment in another establishment as a suitable place becomes available.
g. Assessment will be conducted by a
community team. There may be some consideration paid to where he lives.
12. My brother Michael called to say John
had gone home and he had ‘the Chair’. I
told him of the brain scan findings and hung up on me.
13. I called the hospital the following day
and was told a password had been placed on access to information and speaking
to Dad. I had no access to Dad or information on health updates on Dad.
14. John Lambert left me voicemail messages
on 29.03.22, 05.04.22, 14.04.22 and 19.04.22 (two). These are all saved.
15. During another conversation with John,
he stated Dad could not return home or to Bridlington and the house was being
cleared of his possessions.
16. Saturday 16th April 2022, He was moved to Windsor Court Nursing Home Goole.
Enough was enough …
Three days later my trusty Saab hit the M1 going North.
In part 2, I am asked to leave dad's nursing home in Goole, the police become involved and ...
Comments
Post a Comment