My story. No 7: Frangipani – BBC Holiday Show – Arsenal – Tobermoray

 

Frangipani is the name of Lambo’s yacht. Lambo is my alter ego, my Viking DNA, my life force, yang energy, my third and fifth chakra's in full flow, rugby, sailing or dancing heaven.  Colin by contrast is yin, shy, thoughtful and enjoys his own company. He loves writing, music, cooking and gardening.  They are in constant battle, seeking the ever-elusive balance, equilibrium and contentment. I am the mediator. As such, writing one life story is not easy,  the research takes longer than the typing and the dyslexia is ever present. Lambo’s ego and love life have just interjected.

November 2002, Lambo is 49 years old. He is a fat lump, his marriage is a mess, his son Chris, has hair to his waist plus, eleven piercings covering his face, lip, and tongue. Colin is on antidepressants (Prozac) and drinking too much. Lambo needed a distraction, an adventure, retail therapy on a grand scale.  It was love at first sight, just an internet profile, but he was hooked. Her lines were perfect, flush deck, she was a head-turner. By coincidence (seriously) the tea towel in the kitchen just caught my eye, it is printed on one side. It reads:

Why is a ship called she? A ship is called a ‘she’ because there is always a great deal of fuss around her; there is usually a gang of men about, she has a waist and stays; it takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good looking; it is not the initial expense that breaks you, it is the upkeep; she can be all decked out; it takes an experienced man to handle her correctly; and without a man at the helm, she is absolutely uncontrollable. She shows her topsides, hides her bottom and, when coming into port, always heads for the buoys’.

And whilst Lambo thought that ditty amusing, Colin thought it sexist and silly. He has just said to Lambo, ‘A boat is a fucking hole in the water into which your poor money’. Lambo shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘If you think fucking gardening and writing this story is going to satiate me, dream on mate’.

Lambo’s first dream came true; he flew to St Lucia, with wife Kerry and MCA (Maritime Coastguard Agency) surveyor, Anthony Head. A lovely man never stopped talking on the flight, I made excuses to stretch my legs and move; he was meticulous, old school, he even wore his surveying overalls in 28C and 90% humidity. Anthony mentioned cockroaches, which didn’t bother Lambo, they did later!  A  £100,000 marine mortgage and an MCA licence to take passengers later, Frangipani, sailed home. Not without incident, that's for later. On arrival in Dartmouth, her home port, her name had to be changed, as Frangipani was already taken on the British ships register. Frangi she became.

April 2006. Arsenal have just reached the champions league final at soccer. Colin, Kerry, Emily & Chris own four season tickets, plus four tickets for the final in Paris. Frangi is about to complete her season, based in Antigua, and sail home. The home trip is being covered by the BBC and will feature novice sailors, two weeks running, on their holiday show. Robbie Osborne is first mate.  Robbie trained with me for six years and now a qualified ocean skipper. Jackie Jinks, recommended by RYA (Royal Yachting Association) is a young skipper. Three novice sailors, two further crew all set when Robbie calls me. ‘Colin, I have a problem…’ Oh shit, what’s happened’, I reply, assuming something wrong with the boat.  “I have hepatitis, not the sex one but it’s bad enough … No-way can I sail across the Atlantic,” is what I heard.

The BBC holiday show, sees Frangi at her best, dancing through an Atlantic gale. Lambo wasn’t meant to be onboard or part of the show, they cut him out from the start. His ego was not going to accept that. In the opening action shot, he calmly walks to the bow, the headsail is in urgent need of no attention. No way was he not going to appear. He also chips in, ‘yare baby’ (most odd, as we we catch a fish, just not his style) and ‘out’ when the radio conversation ends. His dog, JoJo, greets him at the end.

Since purchase, Frangi has made nine Atlantic crossings, three with Lambo as skipper, plus four around Britain and Ireland circumnavigations, two with Lambo as skipper. Colin, the thinking one, has a niggle about the West coast of Scotland, another déjà vu (first in St Katharine Docks aged 23) moment. On his second trip to Scotland we moored in Tobermory, Isle of Mull. The island is home to the most famous pair of White-tailed Eagles in the world. Tobermory, was developed from 1790 onwards as a British fishing port. The quay is lined with early Victorian; tall, three- or four-story brick buildings; slate roof, timber sash windows, Dutch gables and dormer roof lights to complete an imposing, yet gentle facade. Warehousing on the lower floors and rooms above. Today each property is brightly painted, blue, red, yellow, green and pink.  The coloured terrace forms a perfect backdrop to the fishing cobbles, tied to buoys in the harbour. 

After a long day, what better place to unwind than the yellow one, the Mishnish Arms.

 ‘The Mishnish … opened its doors in 1869, is one of the few iconic bars left in Scotland and is known all over the world by visitors to the island, sailors, musicians and rally drivers. Recently refurbished, the bar maintains a cosy, friendly atmosphere and remains traditional with a collection of old memorabilia from shipwrecks and the town itself’ [Website]

As I collected my pint of apple juice and soda, never drink as skipper, I discover a winding bar, with rooms, more like small booths, dotted around the rear. Déjà vu, there I am again, sat in the corner, smiling and a wave; as happened in St Katharine docks some 27 years earlier. Something tells me Frangi will return again to Tobermory. When, is the interesting one?  Lambo say's June 2021.

Back to the BBC and mid-Atlantic. I managed to tune the ships, Single Sideband Radio, into the World Service, just as the Arsenal goalkeeper is sent off,  Frangi, 1,500 miles from land, mid-Atlantic and a very unhappy crew. We arrived in the Azores. The skipper leaves; to avoid a mutiny,  I left to attend a Tantra workshop, with Kerry and avoid a divorce. New skipper, first mate and ... 

Part 1. BBC Holiday Show. Frangi - Antigua to Azores.

Part 2. BBC Holiday Show. Frangi - Azores to Dartmouth.

Maybe Lambo will now be quiet for a while and let me get back to researching Normanton Grammar school. 

Colin

Notes:

Frangi  - Hallerg-Rassy 49- Build No:70 -1989 - is currently (December 2020) undergoing a substantial refit in Portland Marina, Dorset, England.

Hallberg-Rassy Varvsaktiebolag (HR) is a Swedish shipyard internationally known for producing high quality blue water sailing yachts.[1] The company's yard is located in Ellös on the island of Orust, Västra Götaland. The Hallberg-Rassy 49 is a true blue water classic, built from 1982 - 1997 with 89 hulls completed. It is a superb boat for world wide cruising, with eight berths plus ample space for all possible equipment.