A Lad from Featherstone

Sunday 30th November. My phone would have rung at 4am had it been on. Dad had fallen and I'm delighted to say his care plan kicked in and did its job. At dad's now, sat at his computer. Tom Stoppard died yesterday. One of his immortal lines from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead states, ‘Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else’. Time for Slam to  exit Yorkshire and enter the Loughborough Towers with a soon to be aquired new nickname of Bungalow.  The Towers Loughborough hall of residence. 1972-75 At the age of 16, Slam (first nickname) received (here somewhere) a letter to sign up for the mighty Wigan Rugby League team. Having tasted another life – London, England U15 rugby & athletics Slam wanted more, so his dad politely replied saying we were going to put education first. His plan was to spend 3 years at college, qualify as a schoolteacher, marry Lizie his fiancé, sign for Leeds Rugby League Club and teach PE in a school nearby.  He would see out...

Hi Colin here,  Saturday 29th November 2025 and another fine day in wet and chilly (had some very hot ones last night) paradise called Bridlington East Yorkshire. I started the day with blank page. I let my mind wonder,,, Coercion ‘involves compelling a party to act in an involuntary manner…’ [Wiki]  Is what follows an  example of coercive control or loving kindness? The margins are fine so please be patient. I spoke with my mum on the phone four weeks ago, lovely chat and great to catch up. She mentioned going on a coach trip to Bournemouth and staying at the Royal Bath Hotel where Sheila and I had stayed with her and dad. We chatted for 20 minutes, can't stop mum once she starts; who she was paying rent to, who managed her finances and especially aware she need to be careful with money. Her last words were ‘I love you’. Her phone number has since been changed. Could that be coercion? Or fear perhaps. There is more to come but please be patient. Royal Bath Hotel Bournemo...

Friday 28th November 2025 . Sat in bed, laptop on top of duvet. My entire body aches; abs, glutes, lats, quads and calf's, as  I've made it to the gym  three out of four days and on my to-do list today. Each day I vary the exercises, yesterday the spinning bike, only 20 mins, but for the first time in months. No standing and max 88 rpm with load 8 max. Cycling over the summer had inflamed my bursitis -left side, same as hip replacement, it still aches - and paid for a cortisone injection six weeks ago. Meanwhile back to our anxiety story. Just to remind you I am the anxious, shy Colin (yin) and Lambo (yang) is the Lad from Featherstone better known as bungalow -now’t up top- in his first year at Loughborough, where he has just failed his teaching practice.  I was very uneducated, my obsession with rugby consumed me. Back to Loughborough next week.  For now, both Colin and Lambo’s  thoughts are centred on anxiety and how it has shaped  life from the age ...

Thursday 27th November, no gym today yet. Its packed already and I love making excuses. Contacted Adult Social Care Wakefield today to register my mum as a vulnerable adult. My brother has changed her phone numer following my call four weeks ago. I constantly kick myself for mucking up the recording. In addition, since my brother John's conversation with dad, he sits in his chair by the window and cries himself to sleep. What my brother has done is cruel and wrong. Meanwhile back in the Summer of 2020 - end of the first lockdown -Lambo is recovering from his slipped disk and a friend is about to arrive to lift his anxiety and depression. Lambo 2020 A friend in need is a friend indeed. A friend with weed is better.   Monday 20th July 2020, Grove medical practice Sherborne Dorset .doctor’s surgery 0940.    If you missed part 2 click here. The slipped disk in the last chapter has eased but the knee and shoulder are a constant reminder of the dark side of rugby. ‘Colin Lamber...

My Anxiety continues.  Hard not to Love her still. Lambo is my Alter Ego, my twin, my Yang energy.   When not driving me insane, he is lovable and fun. Yesterday he shared his introduction to anxiety story and agreed to chat again today. This morning we attended a 'How to be a trustee'   course run by Wakefield local authority. One attendee worked in schools teaching sex education. I sent her this e-mail: As mentioned I have a particular interest in men's sexual health and the damage done from poor education in the 1950's, 60's and beyond. I was a victim of abuse at age 9 and it took me fifteen years before I shared it. Is there a male member of your team who could spare me an hour to discuss how sex education has changed since my childhood? I am also interested in how this relates to the shockingly high number of suicides in men. I have provided a link to my blog below, as men's health is a theme running through my posts. Kind regards I  will keep...

Just below my skin I'n screaming. I have a good Movember facade. I've hid behind a tash for over 50 years. I've just removed it. Tuesday 25.11.2025 Lambo’s anxiety is raging, horrible thoughts, psychosis even. Below has just entered his psyche. Could it be his brother John’s actions amount to IIED or just another manic Tuesday in Lambo’s life? Intentional infliction of emotional distress (IIED; sometimes called the tort of outrage) is a common law tort that allows individuals to recover for severe emotional distress caused by another individual who intentionally or recklessly inflicted emotional distress by behaving in an "extreme and outrageous" way. Some courts and commentators have substituted mental for emotional, but the tort is the same. [Wikipedia] Four weeks ago I spoke my mum, lovely conversion, she updated me on the family, I lustened for 20 minutes LOL and she ended by saying ‘I love you’ That meant a lot and hoped it would be the start of rebuilding ti...

 Lovely idea from my workshop at Featherstone Rovers. Always be ahead of the game. RedTube is an age restricted site.   Once over 18, it helps increase longevity in men. The Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, Volume 14, Numbers 2/3 2002, said in its publication, Masturbation as a Means of Achieving Sexual Health. ‘A 2002 report from a large British population of men said researchers found a 50 percent reduction in overall mortality in the group of men who said they had the most orgasms. Having regular orgasms can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA increases in response to sexual excitement and orgasm. DHEA can boost your immune system, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. Therefore, the added health benefit is that you will feel-and look-younger, longer.’ In Movember part 2, I talked about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Our biological or Somatic needs; Breathing, Drinking, Eating, Excreting,...

Maslow's hierarchy of needs.  May 2024, The Crows Nest Sherborne Dorset Lambo's hip pain was unbearable. His family shit the same. The Tramadol, Co-codamol (500/30) and Ibuprofen could only scratch the surface. The alcohol and weed was the tipping point.  He dragged two 50kg LPG gas bottles (how I will never know) to his 2 x 1m, empty, grow tent inside another - Machine Mart 10 x 4m - tent, full of tools, paint and accumulated stuff, at the bottom of the garden. Four weeks earlier his hip surgery did not go to plan, £18,000 down the drain.  As usual, a woman was involved.  The rest is for later. Movember 2025 Bridlington East Yorkshire 2024 saw the highest ever rate of male suicide with 6,190 recorded deaths, which is a staggering 17 men every day. The highest rates being men in their early 50's and the highest concentration, the North East of England, where I sit typing. In Movember part 1 - click here if you missed it - I talked about the Chakra system and its fun...

                                                Original painting. Sheila Gibbons - The Chakra's  Every year, over 48,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer in the UK and 12,000 will die each year from the same. That means a man will die before I complete this blog. Men also account for 75% of all suicides in the UK but that’s for later. Movember is prostate cancer awareness month. The tradition is to grow a moustache. I'm told it's all to do with the chakra system. My late wife Sheila ran chakra balancing workshops, I was hooked. Chakra is a Sanskrit work which translates to wheel or disk. There are seven main chakra’s throughout the body, these are known as energy centres which control the invisible energy running through our body. Think of the body as a giant circuit board with seven junction boxes. The ch...

Saturday 8 th November 2025, sat at my computer in Dad’s house in Bridlington's preparing for my creative writing workshop at Post Office Rd, Featherstone home of the famous Rovers, next Tuesday. Dad, Slam Lambert (has a wiki page) is 95 and just made a dash to the loo, 3 rd time today. He asks me to check is bum is clean, it is, I then clean up the mess This workshop is run by Ian Clayton, famous local author, who won the Sunday Times sports book of the year for WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE [Yorkshire Art circus 1993] Just the kick up the bum I needed to put pen to paper, or mouth to Dragon software in my case

Room to the right of the door. No sign in those days. 31st December 1962. 17 Alexander Road,  Featherstone, West Yorkshire, England I remember running my hand over her thigh and feeling the flesh above her stockings. I didn't know it was abuse.  I did know it was all my fault! New Year’s Eve 1962, at home on the sofa in my pyjamas, feeling unwell with flu.  I was trying to play the guitar Santa had delivered for Christmas.  Mandy (yes, the same one) is 18 months old, and my 3 and 5-year-old brothers are all sleeping upstairs. She was not our normal babysitter, 15 years old, in the final year of senior school, and as it was New Year’s Eve must have been a last-minute replacement. She had clearly been on her way to a party; heels, stockings and the rest. This girl was in bloke speak ‘hot to trot’.  Someone had spoiled her biggest party night of the year and told her she was babysitting instead!  Now I would be pissed off, wouldn't you?  Before you a...