Chapter 26. 'Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else'. (Tom Stoppard 1937 - 2025) . Exit Slam enter Bungalow.

Sunday 30th November. My phone would have rung at 4am had it been on. Dad had fallen and I'm delighted to say his care plan kicked in and did its job. At dad's now, sat at his computer.

Tom Stoppard died yesterday. One of his immortal lines from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead states, ‘Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else’.

Time for Slam to  exit Yorkshire and enter the Loughborough Towers with a soon to be aquired new nickname of Bungalow.

 The Towers Loughborough hall of residence. 1972-75

At the age of 16, Slam (first nickname) received (here somewhere) a letter to sign up for the mighty Wigan Rugby League team. Having tasted another life – London, England U15 rugby & athletics Slam wanted more, so his dad politely replied saying we were going to put education first. His plan was to spend 3 years at college, qualify as a schoolteacher, marry Lizie his fiancé, sign for Leeds Rugby League Club and teach PE in a school nearby. He would see out his playing days with Featherstone Rovers and then become their coach.  Or so he thought. 

Slam exited Normanton Gramar School, with a single A level, grade C in geography - the entry  requirements (phew that was close). He  arrived at the entrance to the Towers of Loughborough University.  The building was completed in 1965 and is a prime example of Brutalist architecture with dramatic cantilevers and raw concrete surfaces. Standing at 64 metres tall (the tallest student halls in Europe at the time) it accommodates 310 students and was listed in 2004 due to its architectural significance being a notable landmark in the area. 

The university website says: ‘We are Towers Hall, a hall of residence at Loughborough University. Built in 1965, the high and mighty towers has stood noble for decades and will continue to do so for many freshers to come!

The perks of being a towers resident:

* The only 7 day a week catered hall, so you’ll never go hungry. [Slam agreed].

* The best social atmosphere as everyone is in one building. [Slam had no friends]

* One of the biggest rooms on campus (recently refurbished) with hands down the best view. [Was a great view and spacious] 

If you’re joining us here in the Towers, you can guarantee you’ll be met with the warm towers spirit! The tallest hall with the widest appeal…’  and it goes on.

It was also Slams home for three years studying for a Certificate of Education. The tower to the right was all Lasses and Lads to the left including our very own Lad from Featherstone (floor 13) plus various sporting icons from far and wide. Poor lad really was a fish out of water.

He was one of 120 students on the certificate of education program studying PE and geography as a double main.   The place was full of famous athletes’ , Seb Coe (they shared the same personal tutor) and rugby stars galore, Frank Cotton (Cotton Traders still a pipedream) Clive Rees, Sir Clive Woodward, to name a few.  Tennis stars, sports stars from every discipline on campus along with our Lad from Featherstone. There were rugby pitches, gyms, athletics track and a huge swimming pool, it was like nothing he had ever seen before. He thought he was in heaven. Oh dear.

He arrived in his ten year old Wolsey 1500, a  car which his dad had paid 15 quid for.  He loved the leather seats, walnut dashboard and one of those little corner window lights, good for flicking cigarette ash through and yes, he smoked Lambert & Butler as it made him feel cool. Poor lad was about to grow up very quickly…

One very posh tennis lad was in Slams tutor group, with his blonde hair, good looks and the MG soft-top his dad had provided for college. He hollows at Slam, “Hi Bungalow, I’m Johnathon, I went to Harrow, were you from a rugger school old boy.” ‘Normanton Gramar School’ slam proudly responds.  Somehow Slam took comfort in being known and even liked the attention his newfound nickname, Bungalow, provided. It also took a while for him to work out bungalow meant ‘nowt up top’.  It got worse.

His arrival at Loughborough was a huge wake-up call, he went to collect his grant, on day one, only to be told he hadn’t qualified, as dad earned too much. At this point (September1972) Slam senior had reached production manager at Yorkshire Copper Works Leeds, with 1,500 workers on three shifts answerable to him. Dad gave him £10 week for clothes, kit, books and a car to run. He could buy 3 gallons of petrol for £1 so manged well.

Poor old Bungalow, as he was now known, his first submitted essay a fail and sent for extra English lessons. He handed the tutor a fine piece of work a third year PE and English student wrote for him, all in Yorkshire slang, eer ba gum and all that.  The tutor loved it and Bungalow never went back. A mistake as, for a start, he cheated but more to the point his English wasn’t good, he couldn’t spell [still can’t lol) and dyslexia hadn’t been invented yet.  Fortunately for him he was engaged to the lovely Lizie, long story, she was very clever, studying English and Drama in Doncaster to become an English teacher. She wrote all his essays and got good marks. Copying her work became his education. It gets worse.

Loughborough Colleges rugby team was full of internationals, Clive Rees and Lewis Dick for a start both in Bungalows wing position.  Frank Cotton (Cotton Traders still a pipe dream) captain.  They did try him at centre twice, but he was rubbish. Just before Christmas 1992 he was released from the elite rugby squad, to go and play with the freshers. His world collapsed, bungalow really did have nowt up top, he had fallen off his perch and it gets even worse.

Teaching practice. Fairham comprehensive School, Nottingham. Eighteen form entry, police came one day as someone had taken the pet rabbits home for dinner.  He was given javelin to teach to a bunch of 14-year-olds, the biggest problem was to stop them throwing the javelins at each other!  One Thursday morning, hung over after a non-existent fresher’s game; the day before at St Mary’s Twickenham when there was a cock-up, two opposition teams arrived and they stuck two metophoric fingers at the lads from Loughborough. They just drank all day, and the coach home had to stop twice for wee’s on the hard shoulder, before more drinking and a chicken madrass to finish.  Oh yes, Thursday morning, hung over, curry stains all down his top – He couldn't find, didn’t have, a clean one - was teaching 11-year-olds, long jump while feeling shit, fed up, leaning on the rake, shouting, ‘run and jump’ to each boy in turn, which was not the proper thing to do.  He looks behind and there he was, Iaian Lewis, his assessor, small man, Welsh, skinny with a tiny beer gut, making notes. Oh dear.

Bungalow fails his end of year teaching practice. Not the best of exits to his first year at Loughborough.

And the point I am making is.

‘Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else’.

Have a good day.

 

Colin

 

Note:

Sir Tom Stoppard was a Czech and English playwright and screenwriter. He wrote for film, radio, stage, and television, finding prominence with plays. His work covered the themes of human rights, censorship, and political freedom, often delving into the deeper philosophical bases of society. Born: 3 July 1937, Zlín, Czechia Died: 29 November 2025 (age 88 years), Dorset

Wikipedia