Monday, 12 March 2018

5 Rhythms

I attended a 5 Rhythms workshop in London over the weekend.  Took Lulu my trusty camper.  Did you know you can park a van in the City (America Square) free from Friday 4pm to Monday 9am?
It involved loads of dancing and for me four teachings;
1. If the body is moved through five distinct types of movement a ‘resonance/vibration/channelling of energy occurs, the last of the five being Stillness.  Not rigid stillness, but a stillness of the mind whist being fully aware of one’s surroundings. Yogi’s do it, Owen Farrell does it before starting his run up and 5 Rhythms got me there.  Osho Dynamic Meditation is similar but different.  More later.
2. Men need sex to the extent they will rape, if need be, in order to burst the boil and ejaculate.  I will explain, please be patient.
3. Be aware of the reaction you will receive if one stands in front of 50 women/men and starts chanting; Men need sex, men need sex, men need sex.
Let’s stay with No 3 for now.
And learn I did…  Someone openly said, ‘Woman need love not sex’.  I responded (openly) saying ‘Men also need love and I truly believe sex and love are not the same’. Others played their part until;
‘This is painful, this is painful’ resonated around the dance studio.
I thought it best not to dig my hole deeper so quietly said to myself;
‘No pain, no gain, that’s what Yin/Yang, masculine/feminine is all about.
Take a live -brown- 240v wire (DO NOT TRY THIS PLEASE) in your right hand and a similar but blue wire in your left.  Our dance studio had the men to the right …
That status quo can exist forever until the holder of the wires gets bored.  ‘What if I touch them a little bit, she (Kali is her name) thinks. BANG, fireworks and the light comes on.  What if the men and women move closer into the middle of the room, BANG, fireworks and potentially babies will be born”.
However I didn’t say that and later..
Both women and men came up to me on the dance floor to whisper ‘How brave to state the truth’ … ‘Wow honesty’… ‘I agree with you’ and more than one lad, under 40, thanked me for my wisdom as an elder.
Home late Sunday and my mind had been tweaked. “Men needing sex Lambo, what’s that all about.
Back in time to my blog of, Sunday 10th May 2015 when my mind was tweaked in a similar fashion:
This is what I wrote:

“The USSR’s role in the defeat of Nazi Germany World War II, 70 years ago is seen as the nation’s most glorious moment.  But there is another story – of massive rapes by the Soviet soldiers of German women in the dying days of the war.... Some readers may find this story disturbing“. (BBC News.– 1 May 2015)
I have never raped, physically abused or violated anyone. I did have two fights as a lad over the same woman. (See my ‘How do Chromosomes make love’ blog) but detest violence of any kind. Even spiders are fine. My one exception is wasps and even then I suggest it leaves before zapping it.
There is a really simple solution to remove abuse of women from the frontline of wars.  I will explain.
The ‘Lads’ on the front lines are our children, young adults at best, pumped with adrenalin, testosterone and endorphins.  These are lads on tour, only difference is; if they don’t win, they die (remember my ‘Thought for Monday Morning’ blog).  So they are literally fighting for their lives.
Rugby is played in a similar fashion.  Dropping the ball, when 4 points behind in the last minute of a cup tie in Newcastle, felt like death.   After six pints of Brown Ale, a curry and a night with a Geordie lass, the following morning my head was only throbbing (from the punch I was given for ‘trying it on’) not detached from my shoulders.
In last week’s blog ‘How Do Chromosomes Make Love’, I made light of this very serious subject, that being the abuse of women in war. In my blog I talk about the Wars of the Roses circa 1450.  Here’s a bit more:
At one point the Lancastrian [House of Lancaster to be correct] King of England, Henry VI, is under ‘house arrest’ in London as the Yorkists have taken control.  Meanwhile his wife Margaret (a feisty French lass) is in Scotland trying to build an army sufficiently strong to move south, attack the Duke of York and free her husband, without whom she is ‘dead meat’!  What could she offer the Scots so their young lads would travel south, eat crap food, use woollen blankets to sleep under and probably get killed in the process?
You guessed it; Rape and Pillage!  However, not until the soldiers had passed Newcastle (they knew what the lasses were like) and in return Berwick-upon-Tweed would be handed to the Scottish Queen as her reward. The English took it back in 1482 and it is now our most northern town.  Maybe we could give it to Nicola Sturgeon in return for her not seeking revenge for our metaphorically ‘raping Scotland’ ever since.  Standing in Murrayfield listening to ‘Flower of Scotland’ makes even me want to be Scottish.  My favourite sailing in the entire world is the West Coast.
Rape as a consequence of war is not a new problem it has been around for a long time.
The Chinese found a solution even before the Wars of the Roses.  They were far more advanced than a bunch of marauding Northerners.
“On 8 March 1421, the largest fleet the world had ever seen set sail from China.  The ships, some nearly five hundred feet long, were under the command of Emperor Zhu Di’s loyal eunuch admirals.  Their orders were to ‘proceed all the way to the end of the earth’.      -  (1421 The year China discovered the World  -  Gavin Menzies)
Loyal what!!
If my balls were chopped off I would happily sail to the end of the world and be pretty loyal doing it.  I would have nothing better to do! This solution gained great favour throughout the world for a few hundred years until they discovered it was fine for servants and gardeners but no good on the front line, no balls, no fight.  We now save it for Cats, Dogs and ‘Game of Thrones’. Phew that was close; I would have been a prime candidate!
My mum and dad had a black Lab, Sammy.  He kept his balls and boy did he use them. One sniff and he was off like the clappers, days on end sometimes. He created many a Hienz 57 pups and ruined the reputation of some highly bred bitches in his time!  Sadly Sammy died on the A1 at Ferrybridge, killed when chasing the scent of a woman.  Same place as thousands of ‘our lads’ died,  at the Battle of Ferrybridge (Wars of the Roses) on 28 March 1461, chasing the same scent.
Modern armies (last 100 years or so) tried to solve the problem with brothels on the front line.  Even terrorists are promised 16 virgins in heaven.  See my blog ‘Fatal Silence’.
Hang on isn’t there a staff shortage, for the brothels in the Middle East at the moment.  The recruitment campaign is even conducted on Facebook and there is public outcry when our girls sign up. 
I now understand how and why the ‘Rape of Berlin’ happened.  Young lads, full of adrenalin, testosterone and endorphins, need a release.  They have their balls. They are ‘dogs on heat’ and no laws or moral principles are going to stop them.
As I said at the beginning; there is really only one simple solution to remove rape as a factor of war.
Don’t send our lads to war in the first place!
Chopping the balls off some political leaders would help speed up the process.
Women ruling the world would also work if they didn't seek revenge first and we could hardly blame them for wanting that, could we?
And the point I am making is:
Make love not war.
Have a good week.

That blog was almost 4 years ago, yet it could have been yesterday and include bishops, CEO's, actors and producers.
So I will state it again;
Men need sex to survive, unless you chop their balls off!
Men also need love, tenderness and support.  In last weeks blog, I talked of the students at Cambridge University, off the lead, away from home and in desperate need of…
Let’s address the cause and not the effect. My 5 Rhythms workshop did just that.
The first step is always the hardest.
Have a good week.


  1. Always enjoy reading your bloggs Slam. A book about your life would be a very interesting read.

  2. Watch this space. Going back to being 11 years old next week.