God is a DJ
I
have always liked churches and I am not averse to a 10 minute nap on a pew.
Some folk call it meditation. The calm
is welcoming.
I
couldn’t get into the Abbey on Easter Saturday, except during a hymn on the
half hour and that was 40 minutes away.
Dejected,
I read Poem of the Month for April 2015 displayed at the entrance. It read:
The prayer stool:
I leave aside my shoes , my ambition:
Undo my watch, my timetable:
Take off my glasses, my views:
Undip my pen, my work:
Put down my keys, my security:
To be alone with you, the only true God.
It made me wonder who my true God was.
Ten years ago I was a RYA (Royal
Yachting Association) instructor skippering a 42ft yacht leaving Dartmouth on passage
to Guernsey with five students, as you do.
It was a 14 hour trip, crossing shipping lanes and entering Guernsey
through the northern channel with treacherous seas and dangerous rocks.
As I left the entrance to the river Dart
I saw a rope hanging over the side of the boat and quickly jumped to retrieve
it before it became entangled on the propeller.
I still had a good turn of speed.
Safely retrieved I slid back into the cockpit my head brushing the
corner of the canopy. I
turned to my crew and smiled, they didn’t smile back; blood spattered down my face.
A simple inspection saw a severe gash and I had no alternative but to turn
around and return to port. Leaving my
crew disappointed (they had paid £750 each for a weeklong trip to Guernsey,
Jersey and Brittany) I made my way to Dartmouth hospital.
The nurse sat me down, looked at the
wound and took out a form to complete; name, address etc… She then looked at me
and said “Religion?
“Church of Elland Road” I replied.
She looked at me somewhat perplexed and
said “I am not sure I have heard of that one”
“What, you have never heard their most
famous hymn, ‘Glory, glory, Leeds United, they’re the best team in the land’. They
were very big in the 70s but are somewhat in decline now. Jesus went by the name of Don Reevie and the
disciples had names like Billy Bremner, Johnny Giles and Norman, bites your leg
off, Hunter’ “
She sighed, looked at the ceiling and
wrote something down.
At the age of 44, I visited a
psychiatrist in Harley Street, London. (I first saw him at 28 but that’s for
later) He assured me I was sane and
sensible and everything he said seemed to make total sense. In my search for self I asked him who he
thought God was.
“Alex Ferguson” was his reply. Now, this man is insane how he can possibly
help me!
I later saw him on the day Alex Ferguson
stepped down as manager of Manchester United.
He was in shock, knowing there would be turbulent times ahead. Maybe I should become a therapist and help
him. Now there’s a thought.
I returned to the boat with 8 stitches, left
for Guernsey some 6 hours after my intended departure. Anyone that knows about tides and currents
will also know that leaving 6 hours later makes the passage into Guernsey
all the more difficult and perilous. It also meant that by the time I arrived in St Peter Port I had been awake for
almost 24 hours, very stressed but alive.
However, my crew were happy and I had
avoided a £3,750 refund, something I had never accounted for when setting up a
sailing school. I once had five crew in the Azores demanding they, or the
skipper leaves. 'Jesus Christ!' The skipper left and I
flew out replacements. When I was naughty, as a child, my mother used to say 'Jesus will pay you back,' . He did, that incident alone cost £5,000 in flights
and compensation.
A few months later I was at the O2
arena, London leaping up and down like a pogo stick along with 17,000 others listening to a band. The song went like
this:
This is my church
This is where I heal my hurt
It is a natural grace
Of watching young life shape
It’s in minor keys
Solutions and remedies
Enemies become friends
When bitterness ends
This is my church
This is my church
This is where I heal my hurt
It is in the world I become
Content in the hum
Between voice and drum
It’s in change
The poetic justice of cause and effect
Respect, love, compassion
This is my church
This is where I heal my hurt
For tonight god is a DJ
This is my church
Which band? Answers on a postcard, please.
And the point I am making is:
May your God go with you.
Have a good week
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